The one who is good at heart always suffer, and at times it is you. I’ll tell you why good people suffer in life.
I never did wrong to anyone then why life make me suffer on all accounts? I want everyone to be happy and healthy but why others don’t think about me in the same way? These are some questions which comes to your mind whenever some thing doesn’t go as per your expectations. Or you think that you deserve (in your own way) a ‘reward’ but it is given to someone else you are competing with. Often, the so called ‘Good’ people tend to suffer the most whether in career, in relationship, or in life overall. Let’s talk on this matter today why good people suffer the most.
What is suffering? let’s clear it first, according to the dictoinary, to suffer means ‘experience or be subjected to something bad or unpleasant’. Suffering, on the other hand, means ‘the STATE of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship’. We are born humans and it is our right to suffer on an account of our own actions or the deeds of our family, relatives, friends, or partners. I have tried to use each and every relations which can kick us into dreadful situations in life. Not to forget the probability, it sucks too, I’ll explain it in another post though.
What is Good or Bad?
You think that you are good? Yeah maybe, if you never hurt (mentally or physically) anybody in your life, if you haven’t USED any realationship for your own good, if you haven’t stolen money or goods, if you never inflicted pain (both mental and physical) to your subordinates, if you tried to teach others instead of criticising, maybe you are Good. Let me be clear, if you are this good, you cannot suffer. Come on man, you cannot suffer, read more to find what I mean by this.
But remember those who do buttering to their boss or lick boots, whatever you say, they are not bad (if you think so, you are disillusioned). Also, people those who do hardwork to achieve something are not bad either, but in their way, they do certain things which cannot to be digested by some people who are either their rivals or their subordinates. That’s why people think ‘us harami ke to maje aa gaye lekin humare sath kuch accha kyu nahi hota’.
Some people do things which they seem fitting and rewarding but it is not what others think. No one is ready to award you until you are of any good use to him/her. There are certain things (like sex and alcohol) which may be wrong in your perception but benefiting and pleasure giving in some one else’s perception (for both the genders). So, it’s only you who think ki wo galat kar rahe hain, but for them it is out right fun and living to the fullest, and if they won’t do it, they cannot have fun, also they have guts to claim those things they demand.
Are you getting what I’m trying to say? You do what gives you pleasure, don’t look at others. You are just busy counting the sins and rewards of others and not working to improve your happiness quotient.
So, why Good people suffer the most?
Actually, the so called good people, do not suffer. Yes, you read that right. These good people want everything to come to them, and do not want put efforts into attracting ‘rewards’ to themselves. They just WANT the rewards to come to them only as a sweet guesture for their ‘goodness’. These people are actually jealous of others’ happiness especially those, who do not follow the standards raised by these good people. Bad things happen to the STUPID people not GOOD people. Remember this for the rest of your life.
Consider this, a boy (your friend or rival, whatever you like him to be) wants to sleep with a girl you like. You are thinking to approach her and talk about your feelings. However, he approached her before you and talked her out and bam! she agreed. Later he ‘used’ her and moved on to some other girl. All you did was weeping in a corner. Even this cannot be termed as bad because he wanted it and achieved it, simple. You couldn’t do it, your bad.
There is no Goodness in being jealous
Although, this part, using someone for your benefit is MORALLY WRONG and you should never do it but the ‘bad guys’ take it as an opportunity. The result is, you failed, now even you try to approach the girl, she is so heart broken that she don’t want to mingle with any guy anymore or simply she don’t like you. Now tell me, do you think that you had to suffer because you are a good guy?
No, its not about your goodness, you did what you thought was right and that guy did what he thought was right in his own way, get over with it. Would you have done the same thing what he did to her (just sleeping with her)? No, because you had something else in mind, so you would have taken a different route (like asking her for coffee or something) and this route could have been more creepy (maybe, for her). Speaking about the relationships, things are not at all simple, its kind of a jigsaw that not everyone can master.
What about Career? Good people ususally don’t get proper hikes and promotions
Here we are, the main point of this discussion. You know what, I know you didn’t get an increment you were expecting this year, that’s why you are here to find answers in this article. See, the problem is the Boss here. You worked hard round the clock for the whole year, avoided any leaves, even worked on holidays but after the appraisal, you felt deceived and heartbroken. You did not get what you think you deserved, all your expectations were knocked off by a letter. That’s suffering of this part.
No one is there to listen to your plea, you cannot argue with anyone, you cannot explain what you did, how you did, and how many sacrifice you made in the last year. You wanna know, why this happened to you? Because you did not showed your work and dedication to your reporting manager or your boss or both whatever, who cares. You were not in the limelight brother or sister whoever is reading this. Your colleague who sat next to you got more than you only for the reasons I mentioned in last sentence and not for his sheer hard work. This is the brutality in the private firms and you have to understand that.
To get the recongition, you have to show your work (not pride), and mingle with your seniors and be in the limelight. Only those who manage to be in the limelight gets the highest appraisal. No one will count on your goodness to give you fat appraisal. Please be logical guys, goodness will not get you money, your work wil.
Then how to get up the ladder?
A company look out for those who are capable enough to bring them money. Yeah, it’s money afterall, you think you want money? Damn you, the company you are working for wants only money and a way more than you can think of. The management always look for those who are able to control their teammates and make them work. See, you cannot control yourself (let go a team) and still you desire money, that’s not possible.
Think about that person who is dealing with a team and controling them in such a way to increase the overall productivity. Why won’t he/she get the promotion and a fat hike and why should you get a promotion, you are just a labor after all, a hardworking labor? Ringing some bells? Its simple, you need to learn how to derive more productivity not only from you but from others too. And that’s the secrest of money.
When you want money, you have to show how important you are to them (company or your boss). Your goodness is not judged, your being in the front line matters the most and that is what brings more money and recognition. You have to be a step forward, like your friend did who received more (hike), by pushing others behind you. And if you feel that’s not ideal, keep dreaming brother. It may be morally wrong for you to obstruct others’ path to success but my friend this is the only way in a private company. As it is said by wise people, in a Job all you have to say is ‘Yes, yes, and yes’.
He was always kind to others but God made him suffer in life
See, your life (what it is today) is the outcome of these things –
- Your immediate actions
- The past choices
- Series of actions originated at some other place but affects you positively or negatively after traveling a large distance. This is also called ‘Butterfly Effect’.
- Actions taken by your family, relatives, or friends for or against you.
- What people think of you and how they would react to certain things that are affecting you.
You might have heard about some old people that their children have abandon them but they were good to everyone their entire life. You might feel pity for them but cannot really help them. But wait, they may be good to others but they couln’t teach their own kids about the reality of life. When their kids grew up, they carried away by the realities of life that they did not bothered about their parents. And they keep searching for good people quotes.
Elder couples who loses their only child are the consecuencies of various events and this can happen to any one both good people and bad people. Period. May be your grandfather had a fight with someone and their next generations now has grudge against you. In that case, they might decide to inflict pain to you or your family some day (but you are a good person aren’t you?). This is how grave suffering is inflicted to ‘good people’. Some just decide to use the good people for their own good. And no one will fight them for you, you have to deal with them own your own.
But why good people suffer due to grudges?
Because its human nature to hold grudge. You claim to be a good person but how many time have you let go off someone who tries to vex you or demean you? how many? The anger and sense of revenge is what makes us no less than demons. I can understand how you feel when someone put a false blame on you or demean you by any means specially in your office. You know why? because they think they can easily get away with this and you are a good person after all so he/she thinks you’ll not come after them.
Hey, one more thing I would like to tell you and that is, people who just blame, demean, or crush others actually do not think about them. These victims are just steps on their staircase of success. Everyone is selfish in this world, and they think only about them. Even most of your friends will leave you behind when the opportunity comes. Only a couple of them will remain at your side in all the disasturous occations.
So what to do?
I won’t say stop being good but I would love to tell you that you have to be little selfish, I mean only up to a point when you are not hurting someone emotionally or mentally. This emotional or mental breakdown of people will come to you as your ‘KARMA’ as the people got hurt by you will come and hurt you later in life when you are weak. I don’t know what kind of natural force is this, it will do to you what you’ve done to others. If you do good, good will come to you.
Stop crying by saying that all bad things happen to the good people. Bad happen only because you don’t fightback. Human tendency is to use others for their own good. So, if you let them use you its not their fault its yours. Stop this charad of goodness and become logical and practical. Remember, if you don’t like to get used or hurt by others, don’t do bad things to others too. Stop looking for sympathy, that’s why you seem to suffer.
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